Majestic Fantasist

Hello! I really liked all the description that you put into this. Very visual. I see what you’re saying, about how it’s hard to write about a character when you’re ...

This seems like it would sound very good. Musicals are supposed to be more of telling a story with song, not as much lyrical poetry as regular music. And I ...

Hi! I though this was pretty good. I really enjoyed your voice through the whole thing. It was great, and entertaining. I would suggest a little more setting description. Tell ...

Tehehe 'I am secret.' whispered the egg. Startled (as you would be) by being spoken to by a large, blue egg, Mathias drops the egg. 'What are you???' he cried. ...

This was good, I really liked your voice and style. And you have a nicely developed character. One thing bothered me though, "Umm... I don't really know how to put ...

1. Is the switching view awkward? It's been all Penelope so far, so I fear it seems weird to have someone's else perspective. What do you think? I didn't think ...

Hello, lakegirls! =D First, I suggest that you space out your story! Lots of people won't read it just because the clumped paragraphs make it look like there is a ...

Hi there! =D I like where you are going with this, and it seems like it will be a very exciting story! I just hope you plan on explaining more ...

hey, AWritersFantasy! well, this was pretty good, I loved the ending. It was a total surprise when they ended up going to the moon. Caught me off guard! So, I ...

I suggest that you add more detail. Show, don’t tell. I know that it’s harder when you’re writing in first person, but let your character describe things with showing words ...